Of Panic Attacks and Summer Furloughs

About the time I was posting funny “Zack Attack” videos I was actually having an attack of another sort; a panic attack. Life kept getting in the way of planning for our upcoming summer trip and the fund raising we need to do, and by the middle of May I was getting a bit irrational about the whole situation.

I have several close friends with whom I have lunch each week, and they helped bring me back to reality, albeit a sober reality. There was no time to lose, but God would work the situation out in time for our trip to work. My fear was that, having already purchased airline tickets, we would get on the plane and land in St. Louis with nothing arranged.

Two weeks later things are falling into place, and I have a more faith-filled perspective.

Two things I’ve noticed in the mean time.

1. I keep doing this! When will I be able to switch life gears without so much stress and self-exerted pressure? On the one hand I know God will take care of us, but on the other hand I don’t easily trust Him when the immediate future looks uncertain.

2. Stress like this puts the kabosh on my creativity. Since we have lived in Budapest there have been fewer stressful demands on my time (my job is not stressful, just challenging), and as a result I have enjoyed being more creative. Photography and writing have been my two re-discovered outlets. Now that I’ve watched them dry up again, it reminds me that it was a privilege to have that capacity in life, and it is a capacity I am more willing to protect in the future.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *